politics

"Don't wanna talk about politics
Refuse to talk about politics
Don't let me talk about politics"
but just this thing ( for the ones who don't know the lyrics, it's Korn ).

if i ever hear the words "this is romania", "everyone is corrupt" or something related to politics, i think that i'm going to pull all my hair out!! i'm sick and tired of everyone saying that!! could you stop it? it's getting really annoying, you know! yeah, yeah, we all know the stuff... politicians are corrupt... nothing goes right in our country and whatever... but do we really have to say that every time? while you're on the street? with the people in the bus that you don't know? no, i don't think so!

but until i'm not going to hear this so often... " Don't wanna talk about politics......."

wtf?? is this music??

okay... not a very good day today... i mean, i laughed a whole lot and there were some super funny moments, but as i was coming home, something happened...

i was in a tram, listening to music and i had to get off in a few minutes.

then, there came two bitc... girls, sorry, who got on and were listening to 'manele' ( a type of music which a lot of romanian people listen to and another 'lot of' swear the first 'lot of' 's f....g brains off! ). i had to get off, and i was going towards the door. although you think i couldn't hear anything because of the 'symphonic black metal' i was listening to ( just kidding! it was something indie ), i heard them say that i left because i didn't want to hear their music ( wow! they used their brains! amazing! but i wonder how they got this preposterous idea... )

i didn't say anything because i didn't want to go home running... they also said that they would smack me or something like that... now it looks that their brains used up all their energy to think that i didn't want to listen to their fucking music, and now they just took a 'vacation'...

so, as you can imagine, and i know that YOUR brain is working, i was pissed. i mean, what's their problem? i didn't even comment about their music! i didn't say anything, although i wanted to say a million words, one 'more pleasant' than the other... but, i didn't even look at them... so, why did they say that?

this shows that it really is a link between the way you are as a person and the music that you listen to... okay, okay, i wanted to say your IQ...

damn 'coincidences'!!

walking back home on a foggy november night... it isn't that cold, but i feel dizzy and stranded... it's only me... and my thoughts... stop! stop! i keep hearing them! please, someone tell them to stop! i don't want this anymore...

i want to cry, but as i said, i feel really dizzy... i don't know how i can stand straight... there's no wind, and in my ear there's Three Days Grace, but i can't get away from the voices...

they tell me such crazy things, not suicidal, but about this night... funny how some things happen to you, and you just say: 'no, that's not true! it's just a coincidence...' well, is it? i mean, some things happen to us, inexplicable things, and you try to find an answer for them. but you can't... and you say that it's 'just a coincidence'...

but, how could that happen then and there? 'if i hadn't taken the bus, i wouldn't have arrived there and would have missed the concert, which was one of the most important things in my life'; 'if i had made one step closer to him, we would have both died...' some stuff just happen because they are willing to happen, not that they are, as we call them, 'coincidences'. some of them are good, some bad. if they're bad, then we try to figure out why did that happen to you. the answer is simple: 'because that's life. life sux!' it just wants you to make you feel like shit. and when a good thing happens, it is likely probable to be repeated, and maybe a worse one is sitting in the corner, just waiting to attack you when you feel the last person in the world...

stupid changes, stupid time...

let's say you're 14... and you're in the 8th grade and you're one-year distance to go to high school...

well, you have finally got there! everything's so new! new classmates, new teachers, new subjects... you think it's going to be alright, even though you're a little afraid at the beginning...

but, in the 10th grade ( or sometimes in the 9th grade ), after a lot of bad marks, you start to think: 'am i stupid? no, course i'm not. but look at me. a 7 at maths? a 6 at informatics? what happened?...'

in some cases, that might be true ( don't shoot, don't shoot! ), but in MOST cases, it's not your fault... you tried to learn, haven't you? you really did try... but it seems that it was not enough... so, you just say: 'fuck it! i don't need their bull$#!+!' but, you still have to do the homework, which occupies almost all of your free time... don't feel like doing anything, so you sit like a vegetable in front of the computer, talking on messenger, writing something on your blog because you know that the 6 at informatics won't change too soon.

it's not that you're lazy or 'just a teenage kid', but it's that the teachers aren't as you expected at the beginning... so, you just get in a fight with the your parents, with your form teacher, just to have them ( the teachers, doh! ) 'removed'. but, nobody does anything. so, in the end, why bother? just do the homework that you think is the necessary and that's that... or move to another high school..

pain&suffering = imagination&fame?

for the past two days, i have been listening to Tool. i like their style of music, their 'art rock', with dark lyrics, and you figure out that there's something behind all of these...

and there is 'prison sex' from the 'undertow' album. i have looked for the lyrics and it seems that there's something about them...

so, i started to look for explanations. the song is about child abuse, and the guy who wrote it, Maynard James Keenan, the vocalist of Tool, was always feeling strange in the interviews about this song. in his childhood, he didn't get along with his stepfather... you think the rest...

the thing that i'm totally ("like... totally!!!") surprised is that the video, which was made by Adam Jones, the band's guitarist, is interesting and hides something... first, watch the video :)




okay. so, now that you have seen the video, i'm not going to make a psychological interpretation of it because it would take a lot of time to analyze every idea of the song. many people have different opinions and some of them aren't even on the same line with the explanations that Maynard has given...

the only thing that i can say, and it's shorter, is that i like the way the characters were made and how they expressed the feelings that a person can have when she/he is raped: fright, incapability of movement and weakness.

but let's get to what i was supposed to type. because of this tragic event, Maynard without a doubt, remained with the memories of that day. and it consequently damaged his future and his adulthood (i'm starting to sound like a psychologist... sorry...). but, with this, he made this incredible song, with a meaningful content and with this strange and interesting video.

so, some people, when they had a tragic event in their life, they can truly make something wonderful, which might help others who have been through the same thing realize that they are not alone and they can pass it taking baby steps. this means that suffering can create good things. why some really good song have a sad story behind them? "Daddy" - Korn, "Passive" - A Perfect Circle, "Angry Chair" - Alice In Chains... i don't deny that there aren't great songs that talk about love and happiness, but we don't feel happy and "loveful" all the time... some of us might have scarcely felt them... well, we have our bad times and our dark secrets. and if we could tell them to others, maybe we will suffer less...

two parts of the same knife

'why don't you get it that you're a loser? you don't belong in this world! you barely find love! the love that you need!'

'wait... maybe i need more time... maybe after a couple of days or so, things will straightened up a little...'

'no, you don't have any time! it's too late... you don't belong here... you're a creep and you'll never enjoy life as it should... so why waste time at all?'

'yeah, you're right...'

'but you don't have to kill yourself... the pain inside is doing that, without your help... just enjoy it slowly, and silently... and even then, you won't regret the consequence of this action...'

'yeah, it's true... it doesn't compare with the pain before... thx!'

cowardice?...

"no, i'm not telling him that! i don't want to see him cry in front of me, asking me what he has done wrong or if i could give him another chance... no way!"
some girls tell that. or it might be vice-versa, but let's take this example...

chicks are afraid of telling the guy they once loved and thought he was the perfect guy for them, that it's over.

sometimes, this truly can be a difficult thing, but think of the poor dude. how could he feel in this situation? when he tries to call you and you hang up? when he comes to pick you up from school, and you're leaving through the other entrance, just not bump into him?...

and the rough part... the friend who is in between. who is the best friend of the chick, and is becoming a good friend with the guy. what about her? don't you think that the guy will ask her about you? and what would your best friend tell him, when she sees him with tears in his eyes, saying that he loves you and that he wants you back? that's not a nice situation, especially for the person who is your "best friend". she is, if she helps you, but what about you?

so, don't make the mistake to put your own on the shoulders of the one that cares about you (your best friend). and don't hurt the feelings of the person that loves you. you should try to explain your feelings. it might be hard, and people might be very angry with you, but they will finally understand the decision you took.