Too Late I'm Dead

There have been so many times in which you felt like a Jew in front of Hitler, like a a woman in front of the puritans, like a heretic during the Inquisition, like Anne Boleyn in front of Henry VIII, like a mouse in front of a cat, like a drop in front of the storm, like white in front of black, like a soul in a body, like a coffin in a graveyard.

I'm dead.

Fly Away

You sit on the grass, staring at the sky. There are the white clouds, there are the singing birds, there is the choking silence, there are your boring, every day ideas running around. And there, next to one cloud, the one that looks like fuck-cares, is a plane. You remember what they say about planes. Someone loves you... Then this tiny, useless thing becomes an obsession, a superstition, which starts to guide your life and which gives you hope. You start to feed on it, and every time you see a plane, you're all in a 'oh, someone loves me!' kind of mood.

But one day, you're going to travel by plane, you're going to be high in the sky, near the clouds which resemble as another fuck-cares, or maybe that person might give a fuck, next to somebody's running ideas, being a certain person's obsession, superstition, guider of life and giver of hope. A feeder for the soul. A noise for the silence.

La Fourmi de la Vie

‘Should I go there? Should I stay? No, no… I think it's better straight ahead… This is so hard!...’ She sighed and continued her way. ‘Where am I heading to? I really don’t know…’

I looked at her. She seemed so confused. She needed help, but I couldn’t give her advice because I didn’t know where she wanted to go. The circles that she made on the pavement. The squares, too. And let’s not forget the triangles… She really didn’t know where to go to. Like me. The pavement was my life. Her indecision was my opinions. I couldn’t help her… I just couldn’t… So, I stepped on her. She was dead. Next pavement...

No One's There

The silence of your thoughts. The memory of the person who you haven’t met. His skin that you haven’t tasted. His eyes that you haven’t looked in. His tender touch that you haven’t felt. The inexistent I LOVE YOU whisper. Emptiness around you and in you, covering you and being you. Missing part. Missing heart. Missing soul. You have it all.

Free will

A man was in an abyss, staying in the present. He was holding two ropes, the rope of the future and the rope of the past. He got up the rope of the past, because it was easier to climb. He reached the top, but a voice told him that he should go back in the present. So, he climbed down the rope and got to the same point he was before. He then went up the rope of the future. The same voice told him to go back in the present. That’s what he did. And there he let go of the ropes.

pain&suffering = imagination&fame?

for the past two days, i have been listening to Tool. i like their style of music, their 'art rock', with dark lyrics, and you figure out that there's something behind all of these...

and there is 'prison sex' from the 'undertow' album. i have looked for the lyrics and it seems that there's something about them...

so, i started to look for explanations. the song is about child abuse, and the guy who wrote it, Maynard James Keenan, the vocalist of Tool, was always feeling strange in the interviews about this song. in his childhood, he didn't get along with his stepfather... you think the rest...

the thing that i'm totally ("like... totally!!!") surprised is that the video, which was made by Adam Jones, the band's guitarist, is interesting and hides something... first, watch the video :)




okay. so, now that you have seen the video, i'm not going to make a psychological interpretation of it because it would take a lot of time to analyze every idea of the song. many people have different opinions and some of them aren't even on the same line with the explanations that Maynard has given...

the only thing that i can say, and it's shorter, is that i like the way the characters were made and how they expressed the feelings that a person can have when she/he is raped: fright, incapability of movement and weakness.

but let's get to what i was supposed to type. because of this tragic event, Maynard without a doubt, remained with the memories of that day. and it consequently damaged his future and his adulthood (i'm starting to sound like a psychologist... sorry...). but, with this, he made this incredible song, with a meaningful content and with this strange and interesting video.

so, some people, when they had a tragic event in their life, they can truly make something wonderful, which might help others who have been through the same thing realize that they are not alone and they can pass it taking baby steps. this means that suffering can create good things. why some really good song have a sad story behind them? "Daddy" - Korn, "Passive" - A Perfect Circle, "Angry Chair" - Alice In Chains... i don't deny that there aren't great songs that talk about love and happiness, but we don't feel happy and "loveful" all the time... some of us might have scarcely felt them... well, we have our bad times and our dark secrets. and if we could tell them to others, maybe we will suffer less...

two parts of the same knife

'why don't you get it that you're a loser? you don't belong in this world! you barely find love! the love that you need!'

'wait... maybe i need more time... maybe after a couple of days or so, things will straightened up a little...'

'no, you don't have any time! it's too late... you don't belong here... you're a creep and you'll never enjoy life as it should... so why waste time at all?'

'yeah, you're right...'

'but you don't have to kill yourself... the pain inside is doing that, without your help... just enjoy it slowly, and silently... and even then, you won't regret the consequence of this action...'

'yeah, it's true... it doesn't compare with the pain before... thx!'